The Great Chicken Ordeal

Weekends are fun. Fast food is easy.

One of these statements is correct. (I'll give you a hint, in case you couldn't infer from the title... weekends are fun is the right answer)

O..... M..... G.....

We just wanted some chicken.

So let's set the scene...

There's me, Oni, and Mandu; we're all chilling at my apartment after a looooong night out on the town (I'm talking out until the sun comes up), and we decide we want some fried chicken.

Not just any fried chicken, mind you. We want the best fried chicken the great metropolis of Gwangju has to offer... and that is Kyochon chicken.

It's so legendary that there is literally no word or phrase to describe it's awesome amazingness. It's the god of fried chicken. It makes all other chicken look like raw, overcooked, dry, and greasy all at once.

In a word: perfection.

That's all we wanted. Just a little bit of perfect chicken.

 So we went out in search of it.

Lo and behold! There on the corner (meaning: a mile away from my apartment) was  Kyochon chicken. We went inside, taste buds a flutter....

And the men working behind the counter ignored us.

At first we were so enthralled with the smell of chicken that we didn't notice. When we did, we though "Hey, maybe they didn't see us! That's okay. We'll cough and shuffle and get their attention"

No big deal, right?

Ehem.

So after a few minutes of hemming and hawing, we finally get the idea that they know we are there, but are simply ignoring this fact. We went from being stunned and heartbroken to angry and indignant in 2.4 seconds.

How dare they keep our chicken from us. How dare they.

So what did we do with our righteous anger? Our justifiable rage? Our completely validated and understandable hatred of their impudence?

We took it outside.

Not quite as dramatic as we might have hoped, but we were hungry and.... tired, and.... so.... yeah... we went somewhere else.



AND IT HAPPENED AGAIN!!!!



Yes!!! Twice in one evening, we were snubbed at a chicken joint! This time, however, we were just stuck in a corner at a table, given styrofoam-esque snacks to nibble on, and forced to sit and watch as table after table of people were served and group after group of newcomers entered and were waited on.

It was the most traumatic experience since I've arrived.

Eventually, we got the message, and went downtown to the best pizza in Gwangju where we knew we'd get a friendly reception. It was great.

But my story is not over yet...

Oh no, my marshmallows... we were not quite beaten. The chicken-greedy evildoers were not to be the cause of our downfall. WE WOULD RALLY AGAIN!!

The next day, whilst Oni kept guard of the hollow mountain, Mandu and I set forth on an epic, hours long trek in search of chicken*.

We dared two bus transfers, three crazy drivers, bands of vicious vagrants*, and one very unhappy poodle.... all in the name of chicken...

Adventurous is my middle name

... and we found it.


On top of the world, we discussed among ourselves. We knew we were so far afield from whence we began that, were we to take the bus, we'd never make it back before the chicken got cold. That would be simply unacceptable.

So we said "To hell with it! We're taking a taxi."

Hailing the first available cab, we settled in for the long ride home.

Five minutes passed....

And we were at my apartment.

I'm sure you are just as confused as we were. With that in mind, here's a nifty little visual aid of Mandu and I's trek around the citadel:

Basically, we made a big "L" in our travels.

OK, so maybe it's a cursive L.... with a lot of curly Q's... and a dash of squirrel on acid....

Moving right along... we got our chicken.

You've never tasted it. You wouldn't understand.

The guys at the other place were super nice, we discovered an exceptionally beautiful park full of roses, and we got inspiration for our  next adventure: Bus Days!

Some weekend, we're going to pick any random bus and hop on just to see where it goes. We're going to pack sandwiches, drinks, etc in our backpack, and when we feel like it, we'll hop off and explore, nibbling on goodies as we go*.

When we get tired, we'll pick another bus. At the end of the day, we'll either grab a hotel, or take a taxi back to our apartment(s), depending on how far Google maps says we've strayed from our neighborhoods.

So there you have it: the tale of the great chicken ordeal, and the brave souls who survived it.


Nabi out.

*You think I'm joking. I'm not. It took hours.

*Small Korean children

*it's considered rude to eat while on the bus